Yep, that's me the ugly step child.
You may ask what do I mean? So I'll explain. I have been on a search for my family,and my heritage for what seems like an eternity. You see my dad passed away in 1992, and I have no one to speak with regarding my family history. When he was alive I was too young and these questions didn't occur to me. Now they are burning a hole in my soul every day with every breath I take. And now I'm afraid I may never know the answers. Like I said I have no one to speak with on these matters. You see my mom passed away two years ago. So here I am all by my lonesome. I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me very much, and I also have a family (not blood, but they are the only family I truly have) who loves me. But I wish to know my heritage. I do believe that my paternal grandfather is Native American, my father was born in Albuquerque,New Mexico. But I have no idea of how to find my family. It would mean so much to me to meet them, and learn about them. But I'm afraid it is just an inextinguishable fire that forever burns in my heart. I can feel my Native blood/spirit, it surges within me, it speaks to me. And it gets stronger every day. And it is almost painful not to be able to satisfy these questions I have within my heart/spirit. Perhaps one day I can afford to get a DNA test that could at least give me some answers as to my ancestral heritage, perhaps? But what I really seek is my family. And this is why I feel like the ugly step-child, unwanted, not belonging to anyone. Thrown away, discarded, with a hole in my soul as big as the universe.